Take a look around and quickly analyze how many people are always sad or always complaining (that: it’s too hot, not enough sunshine, it is raining, it is not raining, too cold, the way the world is heading is uncertain etc.). Those people seem to always have a cloud over their head – the sun never shines on their street. It looks as if the weight of the world were seated on their shoulders.
Admittedly, we all have difficult moments, days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed, when no one bends to our will, when everything is upside down or when we receive bad news.
However, when those take place frequently there might be something worth our attention.
I had some personal experiences a few years ago which made me have great doubts and walk with my head down for many months. I made tremendous efforts to keep myself afloat. There are some things that you do not talk about with anyone (or maybe, just with a psychotherapist).
Over time I came to realize that neither the Tooth Fairy, Tinker Bell or any other Disney character would ever come and spread magic dust to change my world into the one I imagined; nor would a prince or someone on a white horse come and get me out – like in fairy tales – of the reality I disliked and take me to a new, ideal one. No one will come – the only person who is always there is me.
Of course, at that time I was talking to my mother, 2-3 colleagues and my friends. However, the only one who possessed the magic dust was me.
Many of us forget this. We forget that we possess the magic dust. And so, we wait for those around us to bring us joy. It is difficult to find happiness on a daily basis but ultimately it depends on us.
I recently went to a concert at the Hard Rock café. Two people at a nearby table seemed like they were boring each other silly, endlessly staring at their phones. I asked myself why they were there and why they could not find ways to be happy. I think that if you end up somewhere it is better to get the best out of that place or experience.
I was writing a while ago about a friend who told me that the sun will shine on my street someday. There was a comment made on that post I really liked: ‘You are the sun on your street’. Therefore, we are each responsible to make the sun shine on our street, and each one of us has the magic dust – it all depends on whether we want to see it and use it.
In psychology there is a term know as ‘secondary gains’ relevant when it comes to living with the cloud above our head. However, this is a subject worth exploring separately.