A few years ago, I had a rather serious car crash: I was waiting at the traffic lights on the mid lane and the red light was on; that was when I got hit from behind by a Range Rover driver who was speeding. The driver did not see it as he was writing a text message. The collision was so hard that my car was thrown onto the first lane by the sidewalk. Luckily for me, there was no other car there. I was also lucky to be in a car famous for its safety. Afterwards I was taken to the hospital, but I was alright.
A few things have stuck with me since then:
Every time I drive on the Unirii Boulevard (which happens daily), I remember the moment I flew through the air, the floating sensation and seeing nothing but the sky… as if I was not in this world anymore…
Whenever I see a Ranger Rover I get the shivers.
At the time of the accident I was on my way to a client – getting ready for a conference on leadership and we were on the final stretch. I was desperate to get to the client; even begged the ambulance paramedics to take me there. Obviously they refused to do it. However, I wrote to my client a message apologizing for my absence; and to my amazement he proposed to come after me or to send his driver over. This was proof that my despair is most of the time unfounded. The anxiety, the hurry, the need to make things happen, to make it on time, not to disappoint the client were taken to an irrational extreme. The car crash was an occasion to reflect on what, how and why I do things.
Most of the time we do stuff on auto-pilot. By forgetting to stop and reflect, we miss, first and foremost, what our being needs, which is to feel well, to be healthy, to be in balance and to relax after a stressful period. We create different scenarios in our mind which most of the time are completely different from what people think and expect from us; parallel, at the same time, with our well-being as well.
I remember reading this question many times: What is the worst that can happen? I often thought that failing one of my projects, losing a client, someone leaving the company or my life etc. Now, after the experiences I have had I can say: people will come and go; the ones that want to stay will stay; and at the end of the day the most important aspect is for us to feel good with who we are. It is not selfish thinking – I would even say that it is for the improvement of all around us; as long as we are at peace with who we are that will translate into our interactions with the others.
I am not pleading for selfishness or altruism; I plead for the acknowledgement of what is good for us and what is not, for the search of balance, for the understanding and acceptance of our limitations.