The easiest thing in the world is to give advice to others. (Thales of Milet)
A few years ago, when I moved into a new apartment I invited one of my friends to come by. Previously, after my breakup I had rented an apartment and I was happy that I had finally found one small and stylish: bright, with windows as wide as the wall, with the sofa and part of the furniture in blue, with an open space and the furniture especially designed for it. The most important aspect was that I felt at home in there.
However, hardly had she walked in, that she started criticizing everything: the kitchen was not in the right place, the bedroom was not supposed to be there, the cooker should be where the wardrobe was, the blue was too cold, and why would I need such a colour anyway, and so on so forth.
Nothing was good enough.
I was speechless, and I could not understand what was happening.
This happens often:
People will point out that the car you bought is not good enough and that others are better; that we did not choose the right destination for our vacation; that children should be conceived at a specific age; that your haircut is wrong and so it’s the color; that you should wear blue makeup instead of black; that you should talk only to some people etc.
If you bring in an advisor, an architect and you ask for advice then you will take in all their comments.
Otherwise, I wonder what makes us criticize, take apart, demolish what we see in others.
The same happens in business. We hire a new marketing manager and he/she wants to change everything; regardless of knowing or not what the company does, the clients, the strategy, the financial situation of the company; the most important aspect is to add his/her personal touch.
We had a teambuilding a few years ago in a place where a person passionate about horses had started a business. He told me that a lot of people who came to enjoy the location and the horses had started to tell him what he was doing wrong such as: the way he should rethink everything, what people to employ, what horses to buy etc. Generally speaking those people never owned a similar business, but they were ‘kind’ enough to share their opinion.
What would it be if we listened, understood first and then gave our advice and criticism only if we were invited to.
Our society likes to over analyze when something goes wrong, when a business has problems, when someone screws up; we like to point at it, to find the blame and to criticize.
It is difficult to highlight the victories and successes.
It is difficult to notice the functioning part and to highlight it; it is much easier to criticize, to be spectators at a game: to shout, to get upset, to talk trash.
It would be more challenging to be on the field, to run, to fall, to get up and to fall again. Instead of being the player in our own life, we show a critical attitude towards other people’s lives and actions. My proposal: maybe a more entrepreneurial approach to our own person, life, a greater responsibility for the self, and if anyone needs our opinion rest assured that they will ask for it.