“-I want to change my family doctor so much!
– Why?
-I was really bothered by my doctor’s unresponsiveness. I called the office to tell her I had Covid, spoke to the nurse, told her what action I had taken, and she said she would call me back to tell me if it was okay or not, what I should do next. She never called back. Such a lack of interest in patients is unacceptable,” said the angry mother. If I respect her, behave discreetly, don’t abuse her services, I expect her to behave the same.
-Respect is a word that, in these times, everyone interprets as they please, unfortunately.” I said, a bit cynical, I admit.
Then I told her that the good thing was that she was already feeling better and we changed the subject.
The online dex tells us that respect is “an attitude or feeling of esteem, regard, or special esteem for someone or something.”
How does this respect manifest itself? Here are a few ways:
You greet people you know, at the office, on the block, on the street, or when you enter the store/when you leave the store. In many countries, shop assistants greet each customer individually. I admit I said hello in Bucharest and got no response. What did the lady think, that I was a freak?
You talk politely with those with whom you don’t share the same age or with whom it is not mutually agreed that you address directly. When I see at grocery stores how some people address saleswomen or cashiers with a rude, arrogant ‘you’, even though the age difference is obvious, I look down, embarrassed at the disrespect shown, and wonder why they allow them to speak that way.
If you’re in a Zoom meeting with colleagues, you’re attentive, present. You don’t do something else all the time. I know, emergencies happen. But when you are obviously looking at something else during the whole meeting, when you are present but absent, in fact, you show that you don’t really care, you have “d’autres chats a fouetter”, “other fishes to fry”, and the others cool their mouths for nothing.
You’re being nice to someone who has helped or supported you. It’s already so commonplace that we risk coming to take it for granted. No, it’s not okay to become aggressive, dismissive, arrogant with those who have extended a helping hand, done something constructive for you. Not when you received that “gift”, not after a day, a month, a year, a lifetime.
Don’t lie to someone, thinking that person doesn’t get it. Treating someone as if they lack neurons shows how many you actually have.
When you’re in a restaurant, speak quietly, so only those at your table can hear. It’s not necessary for the whole restaurant or terrace to hear. I recently went to a fine dining restaurant in Bucharest. There was a couple talking so loudly that it was hard for the other customers to have a quiet conversation.
Use strong scents with care towards those you interact with, especially if you will be in a small space. I love perfume, of all kinds. But whenever I travel by plane, I’m careful to use a light one that won’t risk disturbing others. And quantity is also essential. It’s better to suggest than to stifle.
Avoid eating tons of garlic before going to the office, movie, theater. No one has done anything wrong to put up with garlic coming through your skin.
Be careful what you say. We may have a lot going through our heads, but it’s good to be critical of what we think, not everything needs to be heard by others.
Of course there are many other examples of showing respect.
I admit that I would love a society that had a bit of the elegance of speech and conversation of some of the characters in Downton Abbey.