”Nobody taught me anything! I didn’t have leaders, mentors, I learned everything on my own!
I heard such statements and they intrigued me. I just thought, “How sad!” Not to have seen anyone around you to inspire you, to tell you a story to learn from, not to have people to look at, to take examples from, means at least a shield to such influences.
We all have people around us from whom we learn something. When I was little, I had grandparents, old people who told all kinds of stories from their youth, with spells, with imaginary creatures, with parables that I listened to with my mouth open. No one called them mentors because this wasn’t a thing back then. But they also spoke to teach us something: what to pay attention to, what the world is like, what to avoid, to dare, to love, what is the difference between good and evil, not to judge others too harsh, forgiveness, and more. They listened to us when we cried, they caressed us, they gave us advice, they showed us that we are loved, appreciated, that everything passes, that we will do well. A teacher we were closer to, who listened to us (he didn’t take us to the blackboard, but listened to us when we told him something during breaks), supported us, he was a mentor.
This model has existed since antiquity. Alexander the Great was mentored by Aristotle – they are perhaps the best known mentor-mentee pair.
When Alexander turned thirteen, his father decided that he needed a higher education, in addition to Spartan education, and sought a guardian. Today we might have called him a mentor.
Aristotle, the great philosopher of antiquity, took care of the education of the young Alexander, giving him knowledge in the field of art, mathematics, geography, astronomy, biology, philosophy and politics.
Another pair we can think of is Pinocchio – Jiminy Cricket. The voice of consciousness in the Disney movie guides the wooden doll in various situations, it is in his shadow, until Pinocchio humanizes himself. It seems to me a very good metaphor for what a good mentor can do in relation to someone interested in learning.
But let’s go back to today’s mentors.
The mentor is the person who has experience, a lot of knowledge, and who wants to share with others what they know, what they have done, what they have observed, learned. In addition, it is good to know how to ask questions and listen with interest. They are someone who does not judge you, treats you with respect, regardless of age and business card.
A mentor is someone who sees your potential, more than you see yourself, believes in yourself, and helps you bring that potential to light. It can be, at times, a point of support that will give you the confidence and strength to change your world. I do not want to give an image of the almighty mentor, not everyone needs mentors at any time and we are not all mentors at any time. But I think we can always learn from those around us, I think we ourselves are role models or examples to avoid, even if we don’t realize it. However, this positioning forces us a lot to behave responsibly.
I would also say that for a mentor to exist, there must be a mentee at the other end of the relationship, someone eager to learn from the other’s experience, someone with a high degree of openness to learning, a desire to learn new things, different perspectives, and set aside the ego to build itself.
I like to think that we are the sum of the people we surround ourselves with, the books we read, what we listen to, look at every day. A well-furnished mind, aware of what is new, which is in constant search, is mobile, is young, does not risk falling into disuse. It is very easy to become old-fashioned today, when everything changes so fast. Of course, there will always be painting, music, sculpture, architecture, literature, everything related to creativity, landmarks that are timeless, but beyond them are human interactions. Here it is good to keep up with the times. Therefore, I would venture to even suggest reverse mentoring. We also learned from those younger than us. When it comes to technology, social media, how we interact with the generations born with the iPad, Alexa, maybe it’s good to learn from the representatives of their generations.
Therefore, we all have mentors, whether we are in a formal mentoring program or we have people around whom we consult, admire, support, or help us ‘get back on our feet’ when we have the feeling that it is very difficult for us.
It is good to have such people around at various times in our lives. Especially in times like these that we live in, I believe that a mentor can support us on several levels: mental, emotional, professional, personal. We are a whole, we carry with us all the facets of our person, like the diamond with many facets. When the emotional side suffers, our whole being suffers. When things don’t go well at the office, we can have big headaches, shoulder pains, we’re like a time bomb in personal interactions. A mentor can support us, give perspectives, suggestions, advice, can inspire us. But do we want to learn from various interactions? Do we think we’re a diamond in the process of grinding all our lives? Or have we seen them all, do we know them all, are we a finished work?
I’ll end with a story I read a long time ago. It is about an old Indian who tells his nephew that in each of us there is a fight between a good wolf and a bad one. The good one is calm, patient, empathetic, attentive, generous, loving, serene, humble, faithful; the bad one is angry, a liar, arrogant, suspicious, full of hatred, regret.
The boy asks him which of the two wins. And the grandfather answers: the one you feed, to whom you pay attention.
I like to think that a good mentor helps us feed our bright side.
Georgeta Dendrino is an Executive Coach, General Manager of Interact Business Communication, VP Partnerships of the Professional Women’s Network, member of the board of the Association for Values in Education.
She is an experienced leader, with a proven history of activity in the training and coaching industry; was Business Coach for the Cartier Women’s Initiative Awards; has experience in executive management development, performance improvement, career development, human resources consulting and business strategy development.
Georgeta is an entrepreneur, graduate of the Executive Master in Coaching and Consulting for Change in Insead, France; EMBA at Asebuss;
She is passionate about writing, personal and professional development, mentoring, coaching for executive management, education and leadership.”
via: Forbes