I kept writing about different topics that went through my mind, soul and fingers. There are some that seem to have struck a chord with those few who read what I write (and to whom I am grateful). These topics are concerned with loneliness, difficulties and uncertainties. Maybe it seems that I have been wearing a black hat for too long.
However, I think that I have come to appreciate the good moments of my life at their true value just because I have been through ‘hell’. Few are the people born with a spoon silver in their mouth, with everything going the way they expect and with the people they want around them. Most of us must fight, make efforts, fall and get up and then fall again, get stuck and many times reach the tunnel of despair before we get out and see the light of day.
The darkness we lay in hurts sometimes, with tears flowing down our cheeks and inside our soul; nevertheless, from time to time our sun rises and we laugh again, we shine again, we love and are loved in return.
We are similar to the Russian dolls. We see what is at the surface but there are so many layers below the image that we see that many times it is easier to stop looking beyond what is obvious. We all have our own shields – and it is natural to protect ourselves from wickedness and indifference. At the same time, we have a limited capacity to put aside every doll piece by piece in the search of the essence.
We want to be surrounded by loud, positive people that seem fine and without a care in the world. Someone else’s struggle scares us as it might disturb our ‘Feng shui’ and so we avoid them as much as possible. Our balance does not come that easy; unfortunately, we can reach this balance after many fights and shake ups, be they small or major. When someone else’s imbalance bothers us, it means that it has touched something inside us, a weak spot. And so, I propose to think about: why does something that I have read/ something that someone said/ something that I saw or heard touch me? What is the part inside me that is thrown off balance by the environment?
Even though it hurts, even though we are afraid, it is better to confront that vulnerability, to heal the wounds little by little. Otherwise, our inner hidden wounds, whether small or large, might create powerful storms, that are difficult to control.