There are people who are involved in many projects, both professionally and personally, and others who are somehow more grounded, more controlled. The former seem to always be in search for something, as if they do not always know what they want, they are restless; the latter seem wiser, having found something of their own, they are more relaxed, and at peace.
But there comes a time, at about 40 (or between 40-50), when something disturbs their existence. Nothing is as it should be for them. A transition period appears which the psychologist Daniel Levinson called ‘a mid-life crisis’. Levinson believed that we all grow up, we develop going alternatively through cycles of life when we know what we want, we dedicate ourselves to a cause, and in others when we have doubts, and do not know what direction to go to. This crisis is the most turbulent of all crises an individual can go through. Why? We already have a lot of experience, we know more about what we like or dislike, what upsets us, what we enjoy; we already began experiencing the loss or illness of our loved ones, we start to feel more tired, to experience various pains, diseases; the thought of our own mortality comes to mind; the need to leave something behind; we start to think about ourselves, about our personal well-being, about purpose, a mission in life.
I propose to ask yourselves, if you reached such a period, a few questions:
What have I done in life? What do I want to give to my close ones, to my community? What makes me happy, upset, sad, angry? What are my values and how do they reflect in my life now? What am I really good at? What gives me energy? What takes up my energy? What good things does my life bring? What do I dream of? What happened to the dreams from my youth and what would I like to do with them now? Who are the people I really love being around? What relationships bring value to me? To which relationships can I bring more value?
After you reflect (maybe after a few discussions with a mentor, a coach, which can help guide you through the process, and a network of friends to support you), I suggest you take action, and start doing things. Take actions, then reflect again. Try different things, being more involved, then stop and analyse; then take action again. This is no longer about being always in action or always reflecting, but about doing, acting, being involved, and reflecting, settling down. It is about holding both balls in the air and not letting them fall on the floor.