”In recent years, I have often heard people say they want to do something else; there are generally people who have worked for many years in a multinational company and who, at some point, want to change, want to become their own bosses. Or they want to give something to the community, to help, to leave their mark in some way. Or they have a deeper sense of loneliness and then engage in more projects, in more extra work.

Most often I would say this happens around the age of 40. This is not accidental.

We are actually talking about the existential anxieties of people (be they, women or men):

  • Freedom – we all want to have more freedom; many leaders dream of becoming entrepreneurs, but this dream lies somewhere in the back of their minds for a long time. And this is not specific to Romania, it is specific to global leaders.
  • Fear of loneliness – man is a social animal; we do not like to be alone. But leaders are very lonely.
  • The need to make a difference, to make our contribution to something bigger, to leave something behind – a few days ago, in Paris, I was talking to a friend who is the communication manager at Chanel; she is 40 years old and she told me that, although she is very pleased with what she does, she feels the need to contribute more, to a greater cause, to also get involved in projects with a social impact.
  • Some people, who are willing to give something back to others, to help – and then they get involved in or set up NGOs – go and teach classes for children, teenagers, or university students.

I hear a lot of people who turn against multinational companies. I understand this up to a point – these are the companies that have brought them up, invested in them, helped them become who they are (surely, these companies have also benefited from their investments). Most of the time, however, development programs that companies initiate for their employees are not taken over by the latter, as well. People go (are sent) to all sorts of classes, but at some point, they start to rebel and they do not want to be there anymore. I believe this also happens because, along with our experience in different companies, we do not really make any career plans, we do not invest time to think about ourselves. I very much believe that the person responsible for my development is myself, not the boss, not the “firm”, not the HR. After all, I have to sit down with myself and decide what I want and what I do not want, what courses, experiences, coaching, or mentoring are good for me, what can help me become a person who is relevant for the time she lives in. And, as times are constantly changing, I have to adapt to them and make myself adequate as such.

Thus, I think most people have a passive attitude towards their own development, their own reinvention, to a certain point.

There are moments in our lives when we want something different, when, if we are not used to challenging ourselves permanently if we have not imposed ourselves a particular style, something inside of us forces us to make a switch.

After all, we can not be passive about our own person our entire life, can we? And this is a very good thing. It is as if we have been on a train for a long time, we like it, we do things we enjoy, we sometimes get upset, we grow, but, at some point, we get bored and want a change. We can get on another train, continue on foot, take the plane, the idea is that we need to break the rhythm.

At a certain age, when we have gained more experience, however, we want dramatic changes.

We want to become our own bosses – some people succeed, others do not. Certainly, this is a fundamental need of people, but it is extremely important to know what each of us can and can not do. I strongly believe it is good, to be honest with ourselves, to admit who we are and who we are not. There has been a long-lasting tendency to look only at the positive things, of course, counterbalancing the tendency of school in the old times to only look at the negative ones. A more balanced approach is more helpful, though.

A crucial moment is when we decide we do not want what we have / or not just that. Unfortunately, some people rebel in a rather unpleasant manner against those with whom they have built something until that moment. As if others were responsible for who they are.

Others are looking for a mentor, a coach / an executive coach.

I think that in such situations, when you reach the crossroads and you do not really know which way to go (or when you have decided, but you need support), it is good to work with someone who has gone through various situations, who has seen more in life, who has learned a lot himself / herself. The person you choose to work with should not tell you things taken from books – theories are the last thing you need at this point. You need someone to guide you in your mind, to be your “thinking partner”, to help you identify your “core themes” (they are called Core Conflictual Relationship Themes in English), your deeper needs. There are certain aspects that do not come out with a simple test; our inner drama can only be understood, figured out by someone who knows how to guide us. But to do this, you need life experience, business, a lot of studying, and a lot of work with yourself, first and foremost.

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The very idea of letting go of your life until then and starting a new one, albeit from a professional point of view (though, sometimes there are also changes in your personal life, in your relationship), generates a lot of anxiety. Who is the container of this anxiety, whom do we choose to contain us is very important for our success?

As leaders, as entrepreneurs, we are often the containers of other people’s anxiety. But there comes a time when it is also our turn to be contained – it better be someone able to do it.

Peter Drucker said: All the management books, including those I have written, focus on managing other people. But you cannot manage others unless you manage yourself first. (Peter Drucker)

An initiatory journey can help leaders, managers, entrepreneurs to a great degree in their efforts to get to know themselves, to become more reflective.

This summer we have launched such a project – Journey to Your Inner Self. It is an initiatory trip to Delphi (a symbolic place, where the Temple of Apollo can be found, a place where the mortals went to ask the Oracle about their destiny.) Pythia’s answers always had more meanings, so they always had to look for the sense themselves).

The aim of the project is to create better leaders, reflective leaders.

Certainly, such an initiatory journey is just a beginning. Before we go on the trip, we apply 720 feedback tools; after the trip we recommend an executive coaching programme. Otherwise, there is a high risk of going back to the original state, just like a YoYo.

I would like to emphasize, however, the need to combine ‘action and reflection’. If we want to change something in our career, it is not enough to look inside ourselves. It is important to also do things. Define where we want to be and devise a strategy to get there. The people around us are just as important. A personal reinvention strategy also involves a network of people around us to support us in our endeavors. There was a book called “What got you here, won’t get you there”; to paraphrase, “Who got you here, won’t get you there”. It is necessary to get surrounded with other people as well, to move in other circles. I do not advocate turning our backs to the people in our close circle. But rather to take conscious and intentional steps towards developing other circles parallel to our usual one.”

via: Revista Cariere