A friend told me, about 10 years ago, that he has the feeling that the business environment is characterized by dishonesty, that he lacks the ability to have sincere conversations with others.
Honestly means without pretense, without cunning, with frankness, loyalty; from heart.
Etymologically speaking, the word ‘sincere’ comes from Latin: ‘sin cerae’ means ‘without wax’ and was used in the context of discussions about statues: those without wax had no cracks, did not hide anything.
In a strange way, with the efforts to be assertive, to give constructive, positive feedback, to be ‘politically correct’, we lost the sincerity, the real interest in the other and the relationship with them. Instead, we put a facade, a fence in various colors, depending on our interest, context, messages that we think the other should hear. Rarely do we think of listening to them, of being really interested in how their colleague, friend or even a family member is, of supporting them.
This fence in various colors can only be perceived as false. False interest, false obedience, false preoccupation, attention. We ask how are you just to tick the question, the moment the other person answers, we are already thinking about others, we get bored, we smile detachedly, uninterestedly, we answer with ‘well, it happened to me too, and I go through a period, wait I tell you’. I’m not saying everyone does that. I claim that many do, I put a red flag on this lack of honesty in interpersonal relationships, especially when it comes to those in the professional environment. In this environment, however, we spend an important part of our lives. If we don’t invest anything, we won’t get anything back, we go through time and people like a goose in the water.
I will end with a more personal story:
This weekend I went to my mother’s; she lives in a neighborhood of houses in Bucharest. My mother was worried about something: someone in the neighborhood, a man in his 60s, had died. He was alone, he had no one to take him from the hospital and take care of the funeral. She started calling the people the man was working with, mobilizing them to raise money and do something for their former colleague. He came across one of them, asked him to make phone calls, to mobilize others.
I don’t know how it ended. But I was moved by how she put herself on the move and saying that we must be careful, to do what needs to be done for others, ‘be human’; a sincere care for another man.