“I saw him in the morning—you know how he is, tall, imposing. But by the end of the day, he looked like he had shrunk, like he had melted,” someone told me about one of their colleagues.
Maybe you’ve seen—or lived through—moments like this: two people get into a disagreement, and suddenly it escalates into a nasty fight. One starts hurling insults, threatening, calling the other names, tearing them down.
I remember a scene from Ally McBeal where she gets so mad at a colleague that she imagines breathing fire and melting him on the spot. It was funny—there. But sadly, in the business world, we often witness similar behavior that’s anything but funny.
Some people believe that the only way to elevate themselves is by stepping on others. And it doesn’t matter what level they’re at or what kind of company they’re in—these diminishers show up in all sorts of places.
I’ve had a few unfortunate encounters like that. Once, I was part of a global leadership group with members from various countries. In 9 out of 10 meetings, the tone of two participants was relentlessly harsh—accusatory, loud, like they’d been storing up frustration for years and had chosen this group to dump it on.
I used to imagine them as garbage trucks—pulling up to the call just to unload filth.
When I realized I was getting headaches just from thinking about our next meeting, I knew it wasn’t the right environment for me anymore.
Sure, some might say—coaches or therapists—that this reaction stems from my own inner wounds, and that I should explore them in therapy.
I do. I know my wounds.
But this isn’t only about that.
In a world where some basic human decency still exists, where “relational hygiene” is often preached in workplaces, we should start living the principles we talk about.
No one has the right to treat others with cruelty.
No one has the right to shout, insult, belittle, or threaten anyone—no matter the reason.
Yes, we all make mistakes. Maybe we messed up, or didn’t do something we were supposed to.
But tone matters.
A lack of respect should be unacceptable in any context.
And when someone keeps crossing those lines, I believe the space around them should begin to empty. I want to live in a world where such behavior is immediately called out—not tolerated with amused silence, like a movie audience munching on popcorn, but met with real-time intervention.
I hope we can become more assertive, not aggressive.
More integral, more ethical, more supportive of each other.
That we can let go of our obsessive individualism and learn to care more.
That we can help lift each other up.