Two years ago, in the first summer of living with the pandemic, I went somewhere near Bucharest for a day. It was hot and we sat on the grass, in the sun, like lizards. There was a certain uncertainty hovering over people, keeping us at a distance, but the sun seemed to melt away our uncertainties and give us a desire for a better, braver life. We hoped that in a few months we would resume our normal lives, that we would no longer be afraid, that the fog brought on by the danger of illness would evaporate.
Looking back now, almost two years later, when the war seems to be in the antechamber, when the major economic crisis is becoming more and more clear, I realise that I had no idea how happy we could be. We had no idea that we could enjoy ourselves more, live more freely, take risks, laugh, meet each other more often, appreciate every moment more.
The funny thing is that I’ve been through a lot in my life. When my father had his first stroke, I realised that from one day to the next, life can turn upside down. I promised myself that I would be more mindful then, that I would better appreciate what is, the present. And yet, I surprise myself that I forgot. Perhaps it’s natural to get busy with various chores, occupy our time as much as we can and forget.
Today, on a break from class, looking at how sunny it was outside, I realised that I had forgotten what the dolce far niente state felt like. In my tight circle, in the state of constant activity, there was no room for stillness, calm, relaxation, gazing into the distance, or reading a book on a Parisian terrace.
And lo-and-behold, my guardian angel reminds me that it’s good to enjoy every day, every hour, to appreciate 5 minutes of sitting in the sun, looking out the window. Maybe tomorrow will pleasantly surprise us. But let’s not end up regretting that we didn’t know how to make the most of each day.