Two weeks ago I ‘celebrated’ 20 years of independence.
On this day, 20 years ago, I broke up. It wasn’t easy. On the contrary. There were some very hard years, at the beginning, then there were other years with ups and downs. Maybe that’s the way it is in life, we’re not just high, on top of things, euphoric, we also bump our heads on the thresholds and fall flat. We stay there for a while, broken down into little pieces, then we take piece by piece, and put it all back together. Some pieces don’t fit anymore, we’ve grown a bit, we’ve developed a bit, others have been shaken hard, broken, so we adjust them to make a functional whole again, better than the previous one.
This whole works for a while, then it breaks down. And again pieces of us fall off and again it takes a while to put us back together. But always this new version is improved, ‘upgraded’, so to say.
This was the case for me. I certainly haven’t arrived at the best version, maybe the searcher it’s the search, not the destination.
What I do know, however, is that I have learned how to be on my own, and this ‘acquisition’ has helped me a lot in hard times. In the last two years, it wasn’t hard for me in this respect, I was well trained to be with others as well as away from the world.
I also learned that when everything around me is very complicated, difficult, I have to focus on what I can control, influence, and do my activities as well as possible. Complaining about topics that are outside my immediate area of impact is not a solution.
On the contrary, I get involved in as many causes, projects, as possible, so as to keep my mind busy, give it food for thought, and not leave it at the mercy of the external environment, the news on TV, or the opinions of various politicians.
That’s how it has worked for me: to focus on what I can influence, to not let myself get dominated by outside noise.
It hasn’t always worked for me, but it has been a mechanism that has sustained me through the years, including now, when everyone’s anxiety is at an all-time high.
It’s important that we choose how we think. Do we look at a situation and become victims, we get stuck, or we start fighting in those ‘fields’ where we are good, where we can make an impact.
In other words, what do we choose? To say: ‘Oh dear, oh dear, how bad it is to be alone!’
Or to take ownership of our decisions, our present situation, and do the best we can in that context?
Each as they see fit, of course.