Today I thought I’d write about a word and the behavior it signifies: courtesy. An endangered behaviour, unfortunately, a word that some may have heard at school, when they were young, from their teachers, and which they consider obsolete, according to the knights in the books of Cervantes, Racine, Corneille, or the Bronte Sisters (ah, yes, writers from other centuries, not footballers, not politicians or other specimens of the scandal TV).
But let’s see what our dictionary says about this word:
CURTOAZÍE, courtesies, n. politeness (refined); politeness, courtesy, courtesy; etiquette – From fr. courtoisie.
The opposite of courtesy is brusqueness, rudeness, unsophistication.
We said earlier that this kind of refined politeness is a dying behaviour. We still find it in some people, it is true, with an upbringing probably from more pedantic, well-read parents, themselves attentive to good manners, or perhaps people who have self-educated themselves in this respect. These people seem to me to be like the jewels with brilliants and emeralds, sapphires, inherited from the family: of timeless beauty, of a value that will always be in high places. Jewellery is not in the trends of the year, but in the trends of the centuries.
But here are a few examples of courtesy:
Greeting a shop assistant when you enter the store.
Speaking politely.
Learning Romanian as an expat in Romania, even though you don’t need to speak the language in the office.
To ask someone from time to time how they are doing, then listen, with the intention of understanding.
To say goodbye when you leave somewhere, to be nice.
Answer messages, especially when someone asks how you are, how you are, when they show they care, when they wish you well.
Say a kind, constructive word and refrain from throwing around words that tarnish, dirty the other person, whether online or in person.
Help someone cross the street, pick up something they dropped.
Holding the door so someone can walk in front of you.
Be polite to someone who supported you at one time.
Here are also examples of discourtesy:
Opening the door, going in first and not holding it for the other person, letting the door hit them.
Asking a question and not waiting for an answer, giving it yourself, launching into a tirade of statements about yourself and your view of the world and life.
To leave on ‘seen’ messages on WhatsApp, Messenger, or other communication platforms.
Telling someone that you trust him/her but questioning everything they say.
Telling someone who has supported you for a long time, lies to their face, as if their forehead says: ‘naive, idiot.’
Leaving a company with all the materials, clients, especially when the person who got you there has reached out to you many times.
Never think about the impact your actions have on others.
Don’t do what you say you will do, don’t prove yourself to others what you want and preach.
Requests from someone, such as: The course should be as soon as possible, with this trainer, but
we pay half price and ‘a hundred and plenty days’, because that’s ‘company policy’.
I wonder how we ended up with a world so technologically and scientifically advanced, but so morally devolved, in terms of values, elegance of relationships? In a sophisticated world, tending towards rudeness, brutality, thoughtlessness, does us little honour.
In the language of diplomacy until a few years ago, a bon entendeur, salut!