Another Kind of ‘Inside Out’ or From ‘I’ to ‘we’

”For two years now, there has been a lot og talking and writing about turning inwards, about being at ease with ourselves, about inner balance.

Not a bad move at all, especially as the last few years, up to the pandemic, some have been always in alert, nervous, in which we have lived, many of us, on the outside, for the outside, as if trapped in a circle, like a mouse in a wheel. We ran back and forth, sometimes senselessly.

But lately, we’ve had time with ourselves, with family, those who have family, we’ve meditated, we’ve thought and changed our minds, we’ve analyzed, we’ve learned, I hope.

At times, we have been afraid that all these exhortations to be good to ourselves will risk being interpreted as signs of selfishness, carelessness, closure, reclusion. Again, I hope that was not the case.

Maybe we made some choices differently, maybe we gave up what didn’t suit us, maybe we repositioned ourselves in relationship with loved ones, left where we weren’t welcome, moved house, some left town for a place where time seems to have more patience.

It’s not easy to be alone with yourself, sometimes we read novels, listen to loud music, hang out with loud people, run out into the world to stop hearing our own anxieties, pains, to get away from the mark of a past that’s heavy as a constant headache, the abyss we’ve visited and never want to look into again. But wherever we are, we carry all this baggage with us, in a hidden coat pocket, and it comes out when we don’t expect it. But we’ve made friends with ourselves over the last couple of years, we’ve resettled.

But it’s time to turn back to the world. Let’s be good to each other. We can’t live for years in isolation. Isolation brings aging of the spirit, acrimony, bitterness, distrust.

It’s time to reconnect with friends, acquaintances, to call them, to be less afraid, to start living again with enthusiasm, with joy, with boldness. I recommend protecting ourselves, that we continue to be careful, that we adapt to the times.

Yes, I know, other virus variants are coming or who knows what else, the uncertainty is great. Yes, I know, we are still protecting ourselves. But it’s time to be with friends again, to go out, to re-connect, to socialize, to care about others, to call them, to invite them out.

The last two years have not been put ‘on hold’. They have passed, they are not coming back, they have left marks on our faces, in our minds and souls. We carry these marks with us, even if we don’t want to admit it. We have lost friends, people we thought somehow showed us who they really are, we have lived in isolation or together with others, as much as each one allowed himself.

But we have to move on, dance with the pandemic, we’ve fought long enough, until it tires and leaves us alone. It’s time to go out into the world, to remember our loved ones, to make new friendships, to leave behind those who were not what they seemed. Getting close to others, opening up, conversations, hugs, will help release oxytocin in our brains, and this will relax our whole body, our arteries, our heart. We’ll be more likely to be healthier.

Stress, worries will not go away. But our response to them may be different. Studies show that if we connect with others, if we reposition ourselves from stress, then oxytocin, this happy, feel-good hormone, will get produced more and this will have a positive effect on our arteries, our heart function. We will be more resilient. If we get involved in a cause, if we help others, we will care more, we will feel useful, we will give meaning to our existence, and this helps to have a better mood.

If more arguments are needed, then I’ll also tell you that long-term isolation will age us, leave us with wrinkles before our time, just as the fog leaves us when we’re no longer twenty, it will alienate us. If we don’t behave like the flowing, moving, clear river, we risk becoming like still water, catching its scent, the silk of the frog.

You know the story of the traveling birds. They don’t leave alone, but always in groups. When one is at the head of the flock, to open the air, the others follow in V formation. Every now and then, however, they rotate, another bird in the group takes the place of the one at the front, so that it can walk in line with the flock to ‘rest’. Then another takes the place of the one in front, and so on. They look after each other, nature has endowed them with a survival instinct.
Man has had this instinct, he has lived in tribes for a long time. Aristotle’s Zoon Politikon understood that he who left the tribe risked his life.

Somehow, the sophistication of modern man has also made him quite lonely.
But now, when times are hard enough, perhaps appealing to something in our genes, relearning from nature, animals, birds, sustains us, keeps us in balance.”