“You’re the last fool on the planet,” a friend told me about three years ago. I told him that, for me, a coaching project is like a trip with my client, with a starting point and a destination. We start from somewhere and we aim to get somewhere else, in a certain period.
Of course, obstacles can appear on the road, we can get stuck; we may need to catch our breath, adjust the plan/route, and then get back on track. We can discover some of its vulnerabilities; we take care of them and resume the journey. Along the way, I help the person with whom I do this approach to look around, to adapt, to take into account what he can, what he wants, what he knows, and what does him no good. But I also urge him to look in the mirror. Not to show him how wonderful he is (although sometimes that is needed; we humans don’t trust ourselves much), but to see himself, for better or worse. In coaching, the mirror does not have the role of the “Snow White”, to tell the client “that he is the most beautiful in the country”, but to tell him: “Attention to anger, language, passivity, distrust, (un)suitable leader style, etc ”. I think it’s a matter of business ethics for a coach not to play the role of the mirror of Snow White’s stepmother, who only told her lies.
But when we reach our destination, when we have reached our goals, when the results are visible and measurable, my role ends. Of course, it may happen that we resume the collaboration, at some point, for another project, on a different path, in order to develop something else. But if we stay together for years just to give an “ego massage” and the client pays endlessly, I violate an important principle: that of integrity.
Why did that friend tell me I was the last loser on the planet? Because he had learned, like me, of cases in which clients worked with a coach for several years, without any change in their well-being, no matter how small, and they were forced to continue or be induced a kind of addiction: “You have to work with me further, you need me… Otherwise, you are lost!” Why? Because “Money makes the world go round”!
It’s like when a teacher makes the student addicted to him or a doctor makes the patient addicted to the prescription that only he gives him. This is an approach that I do not agree with, that does not represent me. To be even more plastic or explicit, I will evoke an epic character: Dorel, the plumber. A pipe broke, water flowed, flooded the neighbors, etc. I call him to fix it. Dorel, the one we know from TV commercials, improvises, wraps some tow around the pipe and tells me that I have to call him weekly, to come and change the tow, forever. The installer, the one who solves problems, changes the pipe, welds, rolls through the water, contorts between the installations and stops the leak permanently. Who would you work with, who would you call again, in case of need?
Therefore, if you were to ask me “how do you make the client dependent on your services?”, I would answer: I do not want to make the client dependent on my services, but on my work style, my way of solving their issues. and bringing results.”
via: Manager Express