‘Happiness means having something to do, someone to love, something to look forward to’, says a Chinese proverb, with which I resonated.

‘Something to do’ refers to our need to be competent in a certain field.

‘Someone to love’ refers to our need for belonging; and ‘something to look forward to’ touches on our need for meaning, of contribution.

Genetics has a great influence on our state of happiness; then the events that happen in our lives; last but not least are those activities that we intentionally do. The latter is under our control and have a great impact on our degree of happiness. I recommend ‘The Flourishing Scale (Diener et all, 2009, Social Indicators Research). It is a tool that rapidly evaluates, through 8 questions, our degree of satisfaction regarding relationships, self-esteem, quality of life, optimism.

Why is it good to intentionally work on these activities that can make us happy:

  • We will be healthier (a healthy mind in a healthy body)
  • When we do not accept to walk with a cloud above our heads we will be able to see the clear sky, we will limit those negative thoughts that could affect our health;
  • We will have more energy,
  • We will avoid depressive states, our immune system will be better supported.
  • The quality of our relationships will get higher
  • I read a long time ago, in books about sales, that people will work better with those with good energy, will want to have around those who do not complain all the time. This leads to better relationships at work, friends who want to spend more time with us, healthier marriages, a decrease in the divorce rate.
  • We will be better leaders of others and of our lives.

I had a client, he was the CEO of a Pharma company, who every day, when he went to the office, smiled and asked the ladies at the reception how were they, told them 2-3 good words, he gave them energy. I went to the same company last year, the same people were at the reception, but he was not there anymore. However, they told me: that they will not be able to meet such a person again, and that there was not a day in which he would not talk to them.

Think about that an empty or full bucket saying: if it turns out full, everything will go well, it’s as if your state will improve. People who lift others with a single word, with a smile, with their energy, are the ones we all want to be close to.

We will be more generous and involved in community support

It comes a time when, beyond our career, financial situation, we search to give life meaning. Involvement in a community, in philanthropy, helps us in this regard.

But all of this comes with personal responsibilities. To work intentionally on my own state of happiness, means that it is my responsibility to be in a good mood, to have quality relationships with those around me, prosperity, to be appreciated, with a healthy mind and healthy body.

A few suggestions at the end:

  • Let’s invest in our relationships, at all levels, and to have a few people to support each other.
  • Let’s avoid thinking like ‘hell is represented by others, let’s take responsibility.
  • Let’s not be envious- maybe the Romanian statement ‘As you make your bed, so you must lie in it’ is not for nothing.
  • Let’s say ‘thank you’- it is proof of generosity to thank someone for something, even for a conversation. I have a friend who does this a lot, in contrast with the majority.
  • Let’s forgive- no one is perfect, not even one’s own person 🙂
  • Let’s show compassion, understanding, to also care about others, not just ourselves.