Sometimes, this question is a pretext for the one who asks it, to tell you about what he is doing. You do not get to say more than ‘I am fine, working on a project, article, report’, that immediately the other person starts talking about his/her projects.
Other times, before you can answer, you hear: ‘Look, I called to tell you…’
Or: you get to say ‘alright’ for the other to say ‘alright, aren’t you? I am glad! Well, let me tell you…’ or ‘ I am sorry that you are not alright. Here’s why I called you..’
However, I am most surprised by an acquaintance from another country who, when I ask ‘How are you doing?’ answers with: ‘the company is doing well, we managed to raise sales compared to last year, we managed to keep all our employees’. When I say: ‘ok, and you, how are you doing?’, he continues with ‘our challenge is to have a positive cash flow this year’. Then I realise that it doesn’t make sense to ask anymore. For this person, his image is more important than anything else. He does not want to show any vulnerability, the word itself has only negative connotations in this man’s symbiosis.
When is the last time someone listened to you? It happens less often, maybe due to the lack of time, lack of patience, from the desire to streamline even relationships.
And yet, nature gave us a mouth and two ears. Maybe there is a clue there. Of course, maybe the interpretation is simplistic – but I wonder if relationships wouldn’t be richer, more balanced if we were to talk less and listen much more?