‘There is so much silence around, that it seems I can almost hear lunar rays smashing against the windows.’ To paraphrase Blaga’s lyrics, I would say in prose, if I may:
There is so much unlove around that it seems I can almost feel with the palms of my hands the unrest of the souls I come across. I know, what lies within us is sensitive to what lies in others. I would add, on condition that we know ourselves, that we have reflected enough on ourselves and that we have managed to integrate those vulnerable parts.
This sensation of unlove that I perceive takes me back to a painting of Pieter Bruegel the Elder. That is how I see the unloved souls – those people are their embodiment. Of course, nowadays, they are beautifully dressed, screened by well picked clothes. Walking like blind people through this world, distracted and uninterested by those around us, but with a high need to be noticed ourselves.
Rare are those not in this situation; they feel and move somehow differently, borne by an admirable inner peace.
Someone more critical might say: ‘And so? What do we do?’
There is no medicine for this kind of cases. I can only propose a few steps.
First, to turn to ourselves and to feel good with who we are. Most of the time we spend is with ourselves – it would be good to get to know and love this person. Not with the goal of becoming narcissists but with the goal of being able to understand others. People are attracted by those who exude confidence, certainty, who radiate, those who have a high level of generosity. This generosity can be translated as the capacity to notice, appreciate others, to manifest gratitude, humility.
I think I mentioned before the idea of periodically reflecting upon the actions that made us happy the previous week, of putting down the things we are proud of on post-its and putting these notes in a jar. At the end of the year so many will have accumulated that even the naysayers will be impressed.
Another idea is to be pay attention to the kind of people we surround ourselves with. Cleaning up a bit around us, so that only those people who support us, who see our bright side, who, metaphorically speaking, pray for us to grow wings, will be around.
Look for a coach/mentor. They will support you even when you cannot find the power within you. But be careful when you choose. It is similar to buying a perfume from the market versus a sophisticated one, for which someone worked with science and art. The most important person in the world is yourself, treat yourself with care and respect.