‘I have come to believe that one of the most important things is to see people. The person who opens the door for you, the person who pours your coffee. Acknowledge them. Show them respect. The traditional greeting of the Zulu people of South Africa is “Sawubona”. It means “I see you”. I try to do that.’ (Bill Clinton)
I met Bill Clinton 23 years ago. I was working for Peace Corps and I was invited to the residence of the US Ambassador in Bucharest, to an event attended by the then President of the United States. As the event took place in the garden, everyone was relaxed (as relaxed as you can be in such a situation). Bill Clinton greeted each one of us. He shook our hands and spent a few minutes with each of us. Of course, it was a short conversation, along the lines of diplomatic small talk: your name, occupation, if you like what you do, how do you find the place where you work, how happy he was to meet you, thanking you for being there and helping with the Peace Corps mission. Nothing special, a hater would say. Only that in those few minutes (two? three? it seemed there were at least ten), he shook everyone’s hand, and he looked at each one of us as if, in that moment, nothing else mattered. He made all of us feel important, he gave us a moment of attention which made it memorable.
I do not think I managed to do this in my work. I forgot, I was in a hurry, distracted, preoccupied. I also had moments when I was focused and 100% attentive to the person in front of me. I also had situations when my colleagues pointed out when I was not 100% in the moment. I felt embarrassed, and obviously I tried to defend myself; thinking rationally, I am thankful that they pointed that out.
We all have the need to be seen, listened to, to feel like the person in front of us is connected with us when we talk.
Frequently, employees complain that they are not seen by their managers, that they receive no attention from them.
I invite you to take this good example from the former president of America and to be more focused on the present moment when we talk to someone, to create that sensation that the world around us stops for a few moments in order to talk to them. Maybe we will build better relationships, more trust, a more appropriate dynamic in our organisation. I am aware that this does not only fall on the manager’s shoulders but on each individual. As a manager in your team, as managing director of a company, we have to understand that we have more responsibilities, that others want to be seen, understood, heard, that everyone wants to feel welcome to talk to us.