I had a foreign client with whom I would meet from time to time to ask for feedback regarding our collaboration. When we met, he would tell me about the various situations he was facing, the plans he had, asking for feedback from me. At one point I told him that it would be a good idea to hire a coach who could help him. He replied: ‘Why should I hire a coach? I am talking to you whenever I need it.’ I changed the tactic with him from that moment.
It was probably my fault as well for teaching him this way. In my naivety, I thought that it is ok to give some of my time to listen, to provide him with different perspectives, to be some kind of ‘container’. In what I do, which is coaching or mentoring, I am in many ways like a ‘container’ for a lot of worries, anxieties, sufferings, complaints of other people.
However, when the other person does not understand that this is the business activity of my company, this is what we sell, that we can do this but not forever, then I am thinking it is a good idea to stop.
We had situations when we made proposals, when we started working on projects, we travelled to other cities, we gathered a bunch of people, coordinated the whole scenario, and one week before the event, someone within the client firm decided to take over the project and save some money.
I heard a few years ago of companies from our field which do not take part in tenders, as they consider them rigged, or not worth the effort.
I have always considered it is a sign of respect towards the client to participate in a tender when we are invited; to start making some efforts, to start a project, even if we do not have a signed contract. The Gentlemen’s agreement seems to me to be beyond a contract. However, reality shows us that this is just an ideal. Many tenders are just for the show.
I wonder if someone can go to a restaurant, try a sample of every type of food and then leave without paying. Or at a gas station, fill the tank so they can reach their destination without paying and say that ‘it was just a test’, and then go to the gas station from the opposite side of the road.
Maybe a lot of us encountered these situations. What are we to do with them? I can’t come up with a magic solution. What I can do is invite you to different perspectives: if I want to be paid for my work, then I am going to pay for someone else’s as well; that is the meaning of civilisation, of reciprocity.
A friend told me about a situation in Japan: the supermarket experienced a power outage. The buyers did not leave the market with the products unpaid; they put the products back on the shelf and then left. They did not take advantage of the situation. Our society has yet to reach a state of balance and being in chaos with no equivalent to follow, there is also no respect for the other.
#respect
#civilisation
#agreement
#reciprocity