I was talking to an older client of mine a few days ago. About 7/8 years ago I coached with him; we worked regularly for a year; he would very rarely postpone a session; he always did his homework, read what I recommended, listened to what I proposed, applied the things we talked about at the job, then gave me feedback.
About three years ago, when he had a different role within the same organization, he told me he would like to do a coaching programme again. I recommended him to go to one of the big business schools in Europe to see other people, learn about other experiences, industries, compare with them.
On his return he was excited about the experience; he was glad to see how much he actually knew from our interaction; he gained much more self-confidence, and validated a lot of hypotheses.
We see each other a few times a year just to talk about things.
Last night I felt proud to have known him – not just related to what he knows, but also to the way he thinks, the way he speaks, the level of energy and passion he is emanating shows that he is ready to become a Country Manager any time.
What impressed me in particular: he said he had realized that he was responsible for three big areas: people, strategy and execution. But the most important thing is having the right people, who know what they are doing, who are responsible and dedicated – and the other two will come by themselves. What this client has demonstrated to me is that he has what I call ‘learning agility’ (the ability to learn from experience quickly, the ability and the desire to learn every day from others, be they managers, colleagues, suppliers, clients, people who write articles etc., has the power to question the current state, has learned to be comfortable in discomfort).
Why am I telling you about him?
In my work, I meet many managers, both Romanian and foreign. Those who go through coaching projects do not do this, for the most part, on their own initiative. This shows that coaching in Romania is still seen as an intervention to “repair” something, not as an intervention to support, to develop (in the most positive way possible).
I do not think there are such big differences between Romanian managers and foreign managers. Certainly, there are some cultural differences (distance from authority, long-term or short-term orientation, individualism vs collectivism, masculine vs. feminine, the degree to which we are more direct or more evasive…); beyond them, however, there is a person – and they come to the office with many conditionalities, with their experience, with the way they were raised, educated, with their fears, their deep human needs, their thoughts and desires.
People are different, they have different thinking and behaving preferences. Often times, managers expect the others to mold to their style; people around have their own styles, their own degree of flexibility, their own concerns; therein conflicts often arise. Although it seems natural, the ability to see things from above, to “beat the iron when it’s cold” in delicate situations, or to “dance” with others instead of fighting them – all this is hard to put to practice. Why?
Have there ever come to your mind things of the sort:
I can’t do this!
No, what if I’m wrong?
I don’t want to embarrass myself.
I don’t know, am I not good enough?
These thoughts are not about cultural differences. Italians, for instance, have their mothers (who do not always give them good feedback or set far too high standards); Dutch parents are also hard on their children; just as the English, French, and Americans have their own need for validation (manifested in different ways, both within the company and outside of it, in the extra-work types of activities).
At the beginning I was talking about the agility to learn; I think it is the top managers’ responsibility to permanently learn, “to keep up with their times.” The learning process never ends, no matter how many things we think we know. I remember what some of our professors in university would tell us: the more you know, the more you realize how little you know. In a world where we talk about D-VUCAD (disruption, volatility, uncertainty, ambiguity, diversity), the words of my professors appear all the more current. It is not something specific to the Romanian managers, it is something applicable to any person in a leader position. I believe a company is as good as its leaders, according to how much they focus on the development of their people. Likewise, a country is as good as the people who lead it.
I would like to see that leaders understand that it is important for them to ‘walk the talk’, ‘lead the way’; that they are the ones who hold the responsibility not only of the company but also that of shaping the behaviours they expect from others.
As the leaders, they commit to developing that ‘growth mindset’for them as well as for the others.
Do you remember that kings used to have the king’s fool who would always put the mirror in front of their face. The higher our position is, the more we need a mirror – a coach can do this if you choose a person who has the necessary knowledge and experience to do this.