‘I wish I had a few moments to be alone, without family, without pressure at work, without so many responsibilities!’ We may be heard or said such phrases several times.
Those moments for us, for our minds and souls seem to have become a luxury for many people.
We need time and space to reflect on the week, last month, to make plans. When we reflect, we develop.
I looked up the word solitude in the dictionary and it appears to be synonymous with loneliness, isolation. But loneliness has a negative connotation, so I chose solitude to delimit between ‘being alone’, with the positive valences of the verb, and ‘feeling alone’, which comes with melancholy, sadness, isolation, emptiness.
The moments I am referring to here are the ones when we are alone, when we can focus, relax, do something that makes us happy when we don’t need to take care of anyone. A kind of us with ourselves, in the mirror, but with care for the person in front. Usually, we take care of others, we work a lot, we fulfill all our responsibilities, with one exception: ourselves. I do not urge selfishness but to allow time and space for ourselves, to balance our being. When we are focused, satisfied with ourselves, then we can take better care of others, of all projects, without resentment, without feeling that we are making too much effort, without continuous stress, without headaches. The inner balance makes us have more energy, to be reconciled with everything that every day puts in front of us, to approach them with detachment, with ease, to be more productive.
You say, ‘Well, I know that, but how do I do it, where can I find the time?’
We all have 24 hours. But some make different choices when it comes to their time.
For example, if we look at our phones, we can see how much time we spend on average per week on social media. If we cut an hour from there every week, here’s an extra hour for us.
If we think about the activities we do at work, many of us will certainly find some that we can delegate. I met managers who worked a lot, did tasks for people on their teams, and whenever I got there, those people were out, on a break.
If we have to cook every night for the family, how would it be if once a week is pizza day, another time is Chinese food day, all ordered and delivered home? We would have a few more saved hours and we can use them for ourselves. When we are in balance with ourselves we become more productive, we can even earn more money.
Maybe one night a month, friends can take your child out, along with their kids, to eat together. Sure, you’ll have to do that too. But here are a few hours for you!
We can find moments when we can be alone. It is important to prioritize, to write that time in the agenda, as we block time for others. If we are not well, if we are tired, tense, impatient, energetic, always on the run, drawn in all directions, then all the relationships that really matter (those with children, significant other, close friends, parents) will suffer.
Solitude may be a luxury, but I think it’s time for us all to allow it.”
via: Revista Cariere
