Most of us had, when we were kids, an object that we would take everywhere we went. Whether that was a stuffed animal, a handkerchief, a piece of cloth, that object was with us at home, before we went to bed, when travelling to our grandparents, vacations, seaside- anywhere. Without it we would feel like some part of us was missing, or we were not hole anymore; if we could not find it, if we left it at home, we panicked, cried, as if we were somehow naked, vulnerable or as if we were the only one on earth (close to the feeling we have when we forget our phone).
The object’s name in French is ‘un doudou’. In English is called a ‘transitional object’. The term was pinned by the British psychoanalyst D.W.Winnicott (1896-1971). Winnicott said that this transitional object is the first token of a child; it’s an extension of our mother, of our home; and when accompanied by this ‘doudou’ the child feels safer.
This object may have a defence function against potential adversities; it gives the child a transitional sensation between inside and outside, presence and absence, security and adventure.
A few weeks ago, one of my friends told me that her 9-year-old daughter had forgotten her bunny on the plain. That stuffed bunny was her transitional object. She cried a river for a long time. I promised her that I would look for a replacement in Paris. Having searched far and wide in Paris I had finally found something similar. However, while searching, I stared having doubts such as: is it a good idea to replace the bunny? or is it better to see what the next transition object is?. Maybe the bunny played its role; maybe it is unreplaceable. Perhaps the little girl will find herself another object suitable to a different transition in this period of her life.
I have a friend that told me once that it is a good idea to mourn after certain things- situations, periods, objects. It should be the same with kids, maybe it is better for them to cry after an object, after a stage of their life, and then to move on. All part of the lessons we learn in life.
The same way, in various periods, adults have their own transitional objects. When I started my Coaching and Consultancy Master’s Degree at Insead, I received this kind of object; an object which represented the transitional space created especially for us.
At the beginning of my master’s diseration, I bought myself such an object; which I kept with me until the day I received my final grade and diploma.
Every day it aids me to connect to something beyond the daily activity.
It is possible that you have this kind of objects as well. Sometimes, we find an object in our home that reminds us of a period of our lives. Maybe then that was “un doudou”.
However, I have been thinking about our smart phones. We take it anywhere we go, perhaps even in the shower; it is near our bed when we sleep; it is on the table when we are out and talking to someone, always in our sight; it has become an extension of our arm, of our body. Ever wondered about the functionality it meets, beyond the obvious communication and the continuous state of alert, is there a more profound or superficial connection with the world?
