”Let’s do this exercise where we each look back and give some suggestions to the person we were at 25. Here’s what I would say to Georgeta at 25:
- Take risks! Be careful, fear is sneaky, it creeps up on you when you’re not paying attention. Be careful not to hold yourself back. Fear holds women back. So does fatigue. So respect your body.
- You’ve already made mistakes, some very big ones. Don’t sit another 25 years analyzing why you did something, what’s wrong with you; all people make mistakes. Analyze, then move on. Getting stuck in analysis won’t help you. Close those chapters like you close the chapters of a book, then put the book in the library. It’s part of your past, it has a place there on the shelf, but accept that you are more than those chapters, than that book. You are all the books and all the library plus more you’ll want to add.
- Be yourself! Don’t try to do things the way other people would, trust yourself. Most people don’t have that confidence. When they see someone who is OK in their own skin, they will gravitate to you. They will want a bit of that confidence too. Be authentic, that authenticity is the key to personal power. Don’t play with it, cherish it. I know, you liked the Cartesian idea of having lots of doubts. It’s healthy to have doubts. It’s unhealthy to have too many, too often.
- If you want more power, give power to others. Only then will you grow. Help others to grow, to gain confidence, to grow wings. You know how Nichita Stănescu wrote: “People are birds with wings grown on the inside”. Help them discover and cultivate them!
- It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. So dare more, do things, take responsibility, you’ll see. Yes, I know, you’re afraid you won’t get it, you’ll get scolded, like at school, you’re insecure. Do you think others aren’t? Do you know anyone who’s achieved too much because they’ve been good? Haha, not me! Ah, wait, maybe they managed to slip by unseen.
- If you meet a guy who thinks you’re too much for him, he’s right. Don’t apologize for your success, you worked too hard for him. You will meet people who will say you have too much energy in the evening, that you dress too smartly, that you are too “different” (what does that even mean?), that you are too something. Leave them alone, some have nothing to do but see the speck in someone else’s eye.
- Celebrate your victories, however small! Celebrate yourself; people forget to do that. Celebrate your friends! You’ll find that many people too easily overlook a victory, they don’t know how to mark the moment. Do it for yourself and do it for them. Generosity is rare! You deserve moments of celebration, and so do they!
- Don’t be afraid to be wrong! Learn from your mistakes; those who learn will win; others never recover! You’ve made mistakes up to this age, you’ve made some decisions that have affected you badly. But someone up there, whatever that means, stuck with you and, lo and behold, you survived. See what bad decisions you made and, remember, don’t repeat them! In fact, I’m single-handed that you won’t. It hurt you too much!
- Understand, love your parents, they did the best they could. We live in a time when the fashion is to blame our parents for everything that’s wrong with ourselves. Analyze, talk to them, understand, then move on. Parents don’t want something bad for their children. That’s how they know how to do things. But in adult life you are responsible for what you do, how you do, how you think, how you feel.
- Take that responsibility and don’t get stuck in the sometimes limiting messages you hear from your parents.
- Take responsibility, know what you can do! Don’t let anyone clip your wings, tell you that you can’t do something, that you can’t make an impact. Trust yourself!
- Life is a journey! Learn, read; travel; experience; stay with you and enjoy the moment.
- I know your career is important to you. Make sure you enjoy what you do, do the best you can. When you don’t like something, don’t sit around complaining about the environment, colleagues, managers or whatever. Change your attitude, if you stay, take it, if not, move on. You know that saying, “You’re not a tree with roots deep in the ground”, you’re not a victim of life.
- Always have travel plans, good books with you, they will be your oxygen mask when you get tired or when everything feels too flat.
- Surround yourself with people you enjoy being with. And if you’re going to be alone, be your best friend. It’s essential to know what you enjoy, what energises you, what inspires you, just as it’s important to know what takes your energy, what annoys you, what pisses you off. When you’re having a hard time, it’s good to know what to turn to. Ah, very important is not to stay with anyone for fear of being alone. You learned as a child what it means to be alone, even if you weren’t physically alone. Anyway, when you have books, imagination, you can’t be alone!
There would be other, more pragmatic ones, like using body cream daily, moving around or paying attention to sweets. But I’ll stop here and invite you to make such a list. Not to focus on what we didn’t do well, but rather to accept ourselves, integrate more easily, and bring to the forefront what we would for the next 25 years.”
via: Forbes
