”A career in the service of company leaders: Georgeta Dendrino is a successful coach. Find out directly from her what ingredients to combine to make you a good leader.
Psychologies: Active in coaching, with great success, for 25 years. How did you choose this profession, what were the springs that led you to be a leadership coach?
Georgeta Dendrino: I started already 30 years ago as a teacher, then I became a trainer. In terms of coaching, I got here because I had clients who wanted to work with me. It was a reverse approach for me, I didn’t go to coaching courses first; a few foreign clients wanted to work with me, I had good results, then I went to study. I chose to go for this executive coaching master’s at Insead, with the idea that the leaders of client companies will want to work with someone who has an education in coaching as well as experience.
Therefore, maybe the profession chose me. Fortunately, I love what I do, so maybe I’m lucky in that respect.
Working with leaders suits me because it requires me to be constantly searching and developing. I have a kind of inner restlessness that can sometimes be hard to carry, a comfort zone is necessary from time to time, but it also helps me enormously not to stay still. In fact, ever since I finished college, I have promised myself to always strive to keep up with the times, to never become self-sufficient.
P: Many people know your professional side. But who is Georgeta Dendrino, what has been your life path and what has shaped your personality and choices?
G. D.: I like to say that I have always been in search of something, that something I call my own Grail. I had a childhood of ups and downs, which meant that I took refuge in books a lot, in search of a different reality, closer to my soul.
When I was little, in communism, I used to tell my parents that I was going to be a teacher and go to Paris. My father said I would fail miserably in the country, be a teacher in the village and go through forests with wolves waiting to devour me… He couldn’t get me to give up and, a few months after the revolution of ’89, I ended up in Paris.
I came to believe that it is very important to wish for something very hard, the chances of fulfilling that wish thus increase enormously.
After I broke up, I made a 20-year plan. Everything I put in there happened. And the place that was left empty, because I had that, stayed empty. I think it’s important to pay attention to those desires of ours, to imagine what we want our future to look like, to take steps in that direction.
I think I’m a strange combination of self-confidence and mistrust. I have a lot of self-doubt, I have quite a lot of personal discipline, when I set my mind to something, I have quite a lot of energy and work power. But I don’t have much patience, which is sometimes a hindrance in dealing with others. I have become more educated, tamed, with time, but you know what they say in French: “chassez le naturel, le revient au galop”, in a looser translation, “the natural temperament has no cure”.
I’ve had various models over the years. From my parents I learned to be responsible, dedicated to my work, not to give up. My high school French language and literature teachers, then 1-2 teachers at university, a colleague and friend from Mihai Viteazu College, my French parents, Mr and Mrs S, several clients I have had over the years, my teacher at Insead, have brought nuances of elegance, study and reading into my life, passion for what is beautiful, the search for admiration, the longing to go, to discover new places, but they have also inspired me to try to keep my spirit young, not to be overwhelmed by the years I have accumulated, but by the joy of travelling, of meeting other cultures, art, literature, to always aspire to something beyond the everyday, the prosaic of life.
P: And since we’re a psychology magazine, what’s your fondest childhood memory?
G. D.: The times when we used to organise theatre performances at our house. We lived at home, we had a yard, where we invited other kids. We used to organize different shows, when my parents were not at home, I liked to organize everything, even cut the tickets. ?
It was a kind of freedom that we enjoyed quite a lot, when we were alone at home, my brother and I. An hour before the parents came, we would get everything in order. My mom caught on, though, that I wasn’t exactly a church door when she went to put on her heels and saw that they were broken.
I liked being on stage for a bit, I also liked organising everything.
P: What dreams from your youth have you fulfilled? And what wishes are still in the “processing” stage?
G. D.: I wanted to be a teacher and I was; I wanted to work at the university, I taught there for two years.
I always wanted to be financially independent, I am.
P: What regrets does the woman Georgeta Dendrino have?
G. D.: Regrets? I’ve thought several times what it would have been like if I had stayed in France in 1990, if I had continued my studies there. It’s not a regret, it’s more a curiosity. But that’s always the way it is when you make a choice, you move on, but every now and then you fantasise about the path you left behind.
I can’t say I spend much time regretting it. I know that I did the best I could at various times in my life.
But if I were to give advice to the person I was at 25, I’d tell her to take it easy, everything passes, don’t take it so hard, as the poet said: ‘if it calls for you, if it shouts for you, you remain cold to it all’.
Otherwise, for some wishes, there is still time, I tell myself that I have not yet fulfilled them. I like to think that there is still time for a lot in life.
P: You like to read, not just to be informed, but for pleasure. Which authors have stolen your heart in the last year and why?
G. D.: I would mention two great authors:
Elif Shafak – I started reading her in Istanbul and felt like I was living in her book, that my days there were intertwined with her descriptions, so evocatively, vividly written.
Salman Rushdie – for the metaphors, the sometimes lush style, which seduced me.
P: What does a typical day in your life look like?
G. D.: I get up relatively early, around 6, I like to have time to myself, before the city resumes its life, before the emails, messages start coming in. I read, write a bit, listen to at least one podcast, sometimes post something. Then I think about the day, while doing a little exercise on the bike, making coffee, that sort of thing. I don’t know how I do it but I never get enough time in the morning. If I don’t have meetings or coaching in the morning, I get to the office around 9. Even though I have time, I prefer not to leave the house with a nightcap on.
At the office I have meetings internally, externally, work on a new workshop, send out offers, talk to clients. Sometimes I talk most of the day, which can be a bit much for an introvert like me.
Twice a week I go to the gym, it’s not what I would necessarily choose, I do it because it’s good for me. Otherwise, I would just sit and read all day.
In the evening, at home, I read, write, watch a movie, relax, and sometimes have a glass of champagne. I don’t eat much in the evening, except when I go out for dinner. Sometimes I have mentoring, I am a mentor in the PWN Norway programme and I have such sessions with a lady from India but she works in Norway.
I go to events, I like to be active, to see people, to get out of the everyday.
P: Do you have certain habits or rituals that you stick to and that give you strength every day?
G. D.: I need time for myself. I’m an introvert, as I said, and I need to be away from the world, to readjust, to recompose, to reflect.
I also need to make plans. From time to time, it’s important for me to get away, to be on a plane. It’s my way of taking distance from everything and putting what’s happening to me into perspective. The time on the plane is critical, then I’m not in charge, I let myself go.
I’m always longing to get away, and when I can’t, I go to the airport on the weekends and watch the planes. It’s my substitute for fresh air until I can get a real fix.
P: Who has influenced you the most in your life? Do you have a role model you look up to?
G. D.: I have several role models. There have been people I’ve met and there have been people I’ve read about.
My parents inspired me by their dedication to everything they did. It didn’t matter if it was their job, what they had to do at home, what they promised others, they were totally invested in those actions. I learned to be responsible, to not do things by accident, to always try harder, to strive to be very good, to not complain, to take ownership.
My high school French teacher, with the elegance with which she dressed and the elegance of her speech.
The French teacher who helped me a lot for college, by his erudition, his concern for everything that meant literature, history, art, architecture, music, by the high standards he transmitted to me.
My colleague at the college where I was a teacher, by her power to reinvent herself in an environment that didn’t seem to support that, to be present, modern, very competent, admired by students.
My teacher at Insead, whom I consider a mentor, by his ability to work, by his personal example, by his energy and enthusiasm for what he does, by his concern to be close to the people he appreciates, by his creativity, knowledge and the mental space to write over 50 books.
I have 2-3 friends with whom I see regularly, with whom I can have open conversations that give me insights.
P: What do you think is the key to your success in your professional career? What combination of traits, skills and talents makes a successful coach?
G. D.: For me, it’s many things: continuing education, experience, high personal standards, self-discipline, self-awareness, internal balance, emotional, social, cultural intelligence, humility, the ability to put the other person first, to support them to regain their wings, to paraphrase the story from the movie Maleficent.
A coach should not do what they do because they need the money, but because they wanty to support others, because they have something to say. Sure, we all need money, but it should follow the purpose, not the other way around.
P: You’ve met a lot of leaders over the years. Is there one trait or combination of traits they all have in common? What makes a person a good leader?
G. D.: Self-knowledge, empathy, compassion, humility; I like to see leaders who have doubts, who know that the more they know, the more they realize how little they know. I shy away from self-sufficiency, from people who have low standards of themselves but high expectations of others.
A good leader needs to make sometimes unpopular decisions, to hold in balance several ideas, opinions, even contradictory ones, to communicate well, to think critically, to appreciate the implications of an action or decision in the long term and in several business areas.
P: What advice would you give or do you always give to women and men who aspire to be leaders or are already leaders in their fields?
G. D. : To never stop learning, to know that the best investment they can make is in themselves; to seek to understand themselves and those around them; to always have a mentor, coach, someone to listen to them, to contain them, because it’s true that it can be hard to bear the loneliness of the leader, especially when they are high up in the organization; not to be impressed by forms without substance; to look beyond the veneer; to demonstrate first the behaviour they expect from others; to live their life beyond their job, because this will give them energy, ideas, availability for professional commitments; that it is good to have several anchors, not just the job: friends, family, passions, all good to be cultivated.”
via: Psychologies
